Wednesday, February 24, 2016

i wrote a letter and sent it
it reached someone else before it reached the intended
even a simple letter cant function the way its supposed to
my entire life seems an anomaly
of resistance
against me
against my hopes

ohm you are in my life in a way you and i didn't comprehend
i cant quantify you
maybe a proportionality
degree of resistance directly proportional to the degree of hope
i hear the laughs of some distant people
they don't comprehend whats wrong

you see nothing ever is
yet something always is
so the letter reached you..
and you thanked me for making you feel special
and slept
and breathed
and i couldn't love you anymore
i don't fully comprehend why...

People move
like doors and windows
sometimes slowly
sometimes fast
never unhinge
or unhinge and never mend
i feel like the wall  consumes me
i ceased to be a door
i have forgotten how to be open
i stay in darkness

sometimes by choice
sometimes by force
mostly in general
rhythms of breathing
rhythms of cars
rhythms of faces
but loneliness by far

you go back
back to black
i go back
back to black
colors remain symbolic
of the lack thereof
there is no-one to see

breaking down 

Wednesday, April 2, 2014


The dream always breaks,
you always have the stark reality,
waiting for you with a leash...

It was good till it was shallow,
unknown faces,smiles,
having fun.. But once you dig deep
there you see the rot
You always anticipate it,
you count on it,
but yet when it strikes you,
you are stumped...

You see the fake smiles  and understand it,
the underlying selfishness,
the mockery,
the sham,
unfolding in front of you

You were right once again though,
you should get used to it,
Its going to recur,
You again were bit with slow killing poison,
You swear never to trust again,
Never to voluntarily burn with the hopeless emotion of disappointment
But what can you do?

You attract fake.


I want a cigarette,
I want the smoke to fill me,
And leave with all the sorrow
The emptiness to be filled
With gaseous toxins
To burn a little of myself, bit by bit
Just to see whether I catch fire
And rise up with an ignited mind....

I want a cigarette
I am tired of doing the right things...
I am lost in the good way
The paths are hazing out
The Satan seems to be calling me,
alluring me to sanity
Promising to smoke up the pain....

Ashes will remain though,
whether a phoenix rises or not...

I want a cigarette,
I just want to light up.

Imaginary Love

Its a starry night here,
But I miss your blue light
Illuminating my room,
Soothing to my eyes,
Beautiful to behold,your grandeur,
the Big White Circle,
in the vast infinite night sky.
You were a charmer,
You enchanted me and I was bewitched...

I don't see you here anymore,
you left like everyone else,
you were always far and distant
But somehow your glow
always made me fuzzy
with warmth,serenity,gumption
You hugged me,
one of your imaginary hugs, and then kissed me with your radiance...

You were the physical love I had,
Rest was figment of my imagination.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013


I stay below the ground,
In the hell of depression
Other faces seem alien
For I don't understand them
What are their thoughts
How are mine so different?

I had dreamt of better days to come,
But the dreams turn to shame,
Reality swings a hard slap,
Dreams were never meant to be

I don't see the glittering stars
They've turned into white dots
The moon's not romantic anymore
Lonely will always be alone.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Movies I loved watching

Siver Linings Playbook- emotion gallore and inspiring.
Moonrise Kingdom- why kill the adventurer in us? This movie is a gem.
Argo- factual, brave.
The Intouchables(french)- Super funny,warm,fuzzy.
Hysteria- unbelievable, funny, romantic.
Pitch Perfect- girl power and music so good :)
Afghan Star- how everyone who has a radical opinion seems to have an effect on onthers lives. When did music and dance become evil?
Think Like a Man-rom-com...nothing more,nothing less.
The Song of the Sparrows- beautiful,simple,truthful
Baran-the most romantic movies I have seen

Movies....they are a huge part of our lives.We just cant let go of fantasy,even if its for 2-3 hours.Its our gateway to a place hich is surreal. You wish you were the hero,his friend,the heroine, have a different life.....